That was then…

 

Sadie still isn’t 100% better, which is worrying me some.  I have a feeling something is wrong and it’s going to cost a lot of money to fix.

I remember, pre-child, having a few friends that got rid of their dogs after they had kids, and I pretty much thought they were horrible for doing that.  Not horrible people, but I just couldn’t fathom giving up my pets “just because I had kids”.  My pets were my babies and I just knew that wouldn’t change when I had kids.

Wrong.  Yet again, I’ve proved myself wrong.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any plans on getting rid of my pets, but I’ve noticed my priorities have changed since I’ve become a parent and I’ve definitely become that person I once thought did horrible things.

I’ve always been an animal lover.  I couldn’t walk into a Humane Society without coming out in tears.  My dogs were my best friends growing up and I couldn’t imagine my life without animals in it, and I still can’t.

I find myself thinking a lot about the “what-if’s” with Sadie.  What if she does need this $2500+ surgery?  If she does get it, there’s no guarantee that that’ll fix her forever.  So then what if she needs another surgery later on?  And these surgeries are $3-4000 in the States.  She’s not even 4 years old so her odds of needing two or more surgeries are pretty good…  Do I really want to spend $6-7000 on a dog?  That is a HUGE amount of money.  She’s not allowed to go up or down stairs pretty much ever again.  And as I previously posted, we just moved our room upstairs.  So every night I make multiple trips up and down the stairs to bring stuff up I want and then to bring Sadie up.  And every morning I carry her down the stairs.  What if I get pregnant over here?  Carrying a dog up and down stairs at 6+ months pregnant isn’t the smartest move.  And what if we do have a baby over here?  So then I’m going to have to carry the dog and the baby up and down the stairs multiple times a day?  Yay.

Mark says we can just leave her downstairs if that ever happens, and to quit thinking about the “what if’s”, but I can’t help it.  Our dogs sleep with us every night.  Sadie would be miserable if we left her downstairs and she didn’t sleep with us anymore.  As it is, she already doesn’t ever want to go outside, which she used to LOVE to do.

It bothers me that my dogs aren’t my first priority anymore, like they used to be.  I remember talking to my friend Elyse when we were both pregnant about how our relationships with our beloved pets might change.  I guess I didn’t think it would, but it has.  I’ve talked to Brittney about it, and she’s understanding, more so that I was in her situation, but she’s where I was a few years ago, pre-child.   I also distinctly remember thinking I would never sell my horse… and we all know how that turned out.  (For those that don’t, I sold him due to the military lifestyle.)  But I don’t regret selling him.  Mark is 1000% worth it and I’d do it again if I had to.

I love my animals, and I wouldn’t ever wish harm on them at all.  But this is getting to be a bit of a hassle and the “what if’s” are eating at me.  I emailed her vet and he’s going to try to get her in to the back doctor sooner.  She seems to be doing a little better today so that’s good I think, but I’m not holding my breath.  I don’t want to have to make big decisions about Sadie by myself but Mark is 9 hours different from me right now so it makes it pretty hard to consult him about anything.  Fingers crossed.