Another halfway point

I am almost 20 weeks pregnant.  This week I have my big ultrasound where we’ll hopefully find out the sex of this baby.  I am VERY excited to find out what we’re having, but I’m kind of nervous to.

If I had my choice, I would want to have another girl.  As I’ve said before, ideally I would love to have 2-3 girls and then a boy.  But I’m not going to be disappointed if this baby is a boy.  I’ll still be super excited, I’ll just also be scared.

I feel like I know nothing about having a baby boy.  I didn’t grow up with brothers or with any cousins my age really (boy or girl), so I pretty much know nothing about raising a boy.  And I worry about the differences in raising boys vs girls.  I wonder if people treat young boys differently because they are boys and they are expected to be tougher than little girls are.  I’m not sure how I’d do with that.  But I’ve come to the conclusion that if we can raise a boy and have him turn out like Mark, then I’ll be happy.

With that being said, I think I’m having a boy.  This pregnancy has just been so different from my last.  I didn’t get migraines at all, just headaches, and I’ve been a lot more tired this time than I was with my last one.  And most of the time I don’t even feel pregnant.  I think a lot of it has to do with Mark not being around.  It’s definitely not as fun to be pregnant when you don’t really have anyone to share your excitement with.  He’s not around to take pictures of me, so I haven’t really been documenting my progress as far as how big I am now which is disappointing to me.  I think Mark feels pretty disconnected from this pregnancy too, which stinks.  I’m hoping things will be different once we’re all together again, but we’ll have less than 2 months before I’m due by the time he gets back.

Either way, we find out Thursday and I am SO excited to finally know what I’m having.  By this time in my pregnancy with Abbie, we’d already had 3-4 ultrasounds, so I feel like I was more connected with her since I had lots of pictures of her.  I’m excited to get to see baby #2 for the second time, I just wish Mark was here to go with me.

(20 weeks pregnant)

(A few out-takes.)